Yak it Up

The girls have always loved the “Hot Dog” song from the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on Playhouse Disney. After yesterday, I will never look at a hot dog the same way again.

It all started that morning. Jeff got up for work as usual and, half awake/half asleep, I heard him rummaging around, preparing for his day. When I heard the unmistakable sound of him yakking in the bathroom, though, he got my full attention. Convinced he had relieved his stomach of whatever had disagreed with him, he headed off to work all the same.

Maddie was due for an eye appointment with Dr. Groves, so we rolled out of bed about an hour later and started our day. Just a bit into the appointment, I got a call from Jeff during which he mumbled, “I need you to come get me.” That’s a bad sign. Jeff has been sick about five days in his entire life (okay, I’m exaggerating, but that’s what it seems like. The man’s a workhorse.) We finished up our appointment with good news. Maddie’s eyes are doing great; she has equal focus in both, which means both eyes are healthy without any sign of problems from her previous ROP. Dr. Groves said Maddie has less than a 10% chance that her retina could detach in her right eye, then confessed his opinion that it was probably more around 2% or less, but he really shouldn’t say that.

On a high from the news of Maddie’s healthy eyes, the girls and I headed out to the job site to pick up an ailing Daddy. He greeted us with a quick puke in the street, then he climbed in without a peep. I’d warned the girls that he wasn’t feeling well and that they should be as quiet as possible. They were -- for the most part. Once we got home, Jeff crawled into bed, only leaving to be sick in the bathroom about every thirty minutes or so, bless his heart.

Not long after a lunch of hot dog and chips, Maddie started complaining of a tummy ache. Madeline has many wonderful traits, but unfortunately, she can also be a bit of a spotlight hog and a drama queen. I attributed her complaints to sympathizing with her Daddy’s current condition and immediately dismissed them. Wrong move. Not an hour after lunch, Maddie shot up from the couch and darted to the hallway toward the bathroom. She didn’t make it two steps before she projectile vomited hot dog all over the carpet. I snatched her up and tried to get her to the potty before round two, but didn’t quite make it. Now, Madeline is no stranger to throwing up. She spit up a lot as a baby and even went through a stage when she was younger during which she would get so upset about something she would end up throwing up. Why does that matter? Although she may a flair for the dramatics in every day life, Madeline is not a dramatic sick person. She didn’t cry and whine or moan about getting sick. She did the opposite; she spent the next thirty minutes or so apologizing for throwing up. Try as I might, I could not convince her that it was okay and it wasn’t her fault. Unfortunately, that incident wasn’t her last of the day. While I cleaned up the most disgusting throw up I’ve ever had the privilege of witnessing and/or cleaning in my life, she rested on the couch. About thirty minutes later, after having just started Cinderella III, she jumped up out the chair I was cuddling her in and darted for the bathroom. This time she made it. She was so proud of herself. The rest of the day was much the same. I learned after a cup of orange juice that she wasn’t going to keep anything down, so I just kept pumping her full of water, along with her ailing Daddy, still laid up in the bed. We watched movie after movie, until finally, the “sick” as we call it, stopped around 6 pm. I bathed the girls, got them into some clean jammies, then tucked them in for bed early. They didn’t argue.

I had a sleepless night on the couch to look forward to, but was relieved when Jeff’s sickness stopped around 8 pm. There was no way I was going near that bed, though, even if he was doing better.

This morning, everyone woke up on the mend. Jeff went the entire night without being sick again. And, although Maddie had a slight lapse this morning, it was clear she was well on her way to getting back to her old self. When I listed off what the girls could have for lunch today, though, you can bet hot dog was NOT on the menu.