Whole Again

Today marks the beginning of the first week Jeff will be home EVERY night in six months. Last Spring, he and his business partner started a massive job on a house at Lake Tenkiller. I can't complain because this job has been a HUGE blessing to our family, but I've been ready for it to be over for a couple of months now. Since the start of this job, I've essentially been a single mom during the week, though I've had loads of help from family and friends. It's not even the added responsibility, though, that's had me ready for this job to end. It's simple: I miss my husband. And even more, the girls miss their daddy. The first couple of months they noticed, of course, that he was gone, but didn't really seem to understand the timing of his absence. As they've gotten older, though, and gained a better grasp of time, they've become very aware of him being away. My heart has broken every time Maddie has asked or cried for her daddy because she needs to give him a hug. Every time I've had to rock and cuddle a sobbing Cadie because she misses him so much, my heart has ached. I've missed him, too, probably more than I've realized. Although I've adjusted to taking care of the girls on my own, I've just recently understood how much Jeff's being gone has affected my overall attitude. The past six months I've operated at a level which has left me always feeling just a little sad. On the weekends, I've gotten to see a glimpse of my old self, bubbly, silly, and overall happy. Throughout our twelve year relationship, I guess I never fully understood how much being with Jeff makes me, me.

Last week, I started explaining to the girls that their daddy would once again be home every night very soon. They looked at me, wide-eyed and Maddie said, "You mean we'll get to see him every night?" It broke my heart and made me smile at the same time. Now that Jeff's home, I know we're finally whole again.