Bookworms

For those of you who know me well, you know my love for literature. I love it all; young adult, children's, classics, fantasy. So, my literary heart just swells with pride when I see the girls cuddle up with a book, reading in their own little ways, seeming to love something just as much as I do. And, just like me, the girls don't seem to discriminate. Their tastes vary, but they definitely have their favorites:

Where's Waldo? – We spent a good three weeks "reading" this book every night (and sometimes earlier during that same day). We've gotten to the point where the girls don't even have to think about where Waldo is hiding. They simply take turns, "Cadie's turn" then "Maddie's turn", pointing straight to Waldo without a second's hesitation. What's neat about this book, though, is that it's one of the first printings circa 1989, a copy that I grew up with.

The Napping House – We went through a phase of reading this book every night before bed. The girls grew so accustomed to reading it, they began reciting the pages while I read, occasionally helping me with the self-imposed sound effects.

The Goodnight Train – Another book that rotates through our bedtime routine. This one always took longer than it should have because the girls insisted on pointing out various pictures, including the mermaid perched on a rock, applying her night cream. This book will always be special to me because it combines Cadie's love for trains and the moon.

Olivia & Madeline – Ages ago, the girls' godparents, Mollie and Scuba, bought a book for the girls in which the title included their name. In Cadence's case, there aren't many books with "Cadence" in the title, so her middle name sufficed. These books are fun and entertaining, with great artwork and easy to follow stories. Now, after reading through them several times, the girls sit down and "read" them by themselves, often relating exact lines and parts of the stories.

There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly – We actually have two variations of this book. I'm quite fond of the second one because it includes the line, "popped open her throat and swallowed a goat!" The girls and I have a great time "reading" this one, using silly voices and embracing our lower registers.

I Love You, Stinky Face – Quite possibly my favorite one out of the bunch, I love this book because it essentially tells of a mother's unconditional love for her child.

"But Mama, but Mama, what if I were a super smelly skunk, and I smelled so bad that my name was Stinky Face?"

"Then I'd plunk you in a bubble bath! But if you still smelled stinky, I wouldn't mind. I'd whisper in your ear, 'I love you, Stinky Face.'"

Candle's Bible for Toddlers & The One Year Devotions for Preschoolers – The girls tote these books around just about everywhere. As part of our bedtime routine, we read a bible story or two, then the day's devotional. Now, as a rule, we have to allow for at least five minutes or so for the girls to "read" from both books. I smile every time I watch Cadie, her nose in the Bible book, "reading" about Damuel (Samuel) and Noah. And Maddie is always very serious about making sure she reads from the correct page of the daily devotional. I love that the girls don't feel threatened by the word of God, but rather they embrace it. What makes these books even better? They were a gift for their 3rd birthdays from their good friend, Grace.

I know we have years and years of good books ahead of us. I couldn't have been more proud the other day, when standing in the middle of one of the toy aisles at Target, Madeline said, "Mom, why don't we go look at the books for our prize instead? I think that would be better." Wise, choice, Madeline. Wise choice.

Room to Love

Last Wednesday, Jeff and I were extended the privilege of attending the dedication and grand opening of the new NICU in the Children's Hospital at Saint Francis. We had every intention of taking the girls with us, but had to leave them at home when they woke that morning with fever and a cough. Earlier in October, we were honored to be invited for a private tour of the new unit (girls in tow that time) while being interviewed by the Tulsa World. At a loss for any other description, I call the new unit "NICU heaven". There really aren't words. I know from a medical professional's perspective, the new unit, spread over 30,000 square feet on the top floor of the new Children's Hospital, poses a myriad of obstacles and adjustments, but from a parent's perspective, the new unit is a dream. This unit boasts private rooms, with several big enough to accommodate multiples. For us, that would have meant Cadence and Madeline being together for the entire duration of their stay, rather than jumping around the old unit when beds/isolettes were available. There are windows in well over half of the rooms, allowing the comfort of natural light to creep in, something we saw only when we left the old unit. Each room has a couch of its very own, and even a rocking chair. In the old unit, parents had to "fight" over rockers for Kangaroo Care, while dodging bulky equipment like ventilators and portable X-ray machines. In the new unit, rooms are equipped with small fridges, cabinets, a sink, and mirror. I imagine what it would have been like to store breast milk for the girls in the fridge, their home-washed clothes in the cabinets, and having a sink and mirror to freshen up on occasion. There is even a curtain that can be pulled to close out the rest of the world in times of privacy like breastfeeding for the first time, which I did behind a make-shift screen in the middle of a very busy EOPC unit. The sheer amount of privacy possible is incomprehensible to me, when we spent 105 days doing our best to respect the privacy of other babies and their families around us.

I don't regret any moment or experience we had in the EOPC, good or bad. Those moments led us to where we are today and I wouldn't change that for the world. But, I can't help but think of how much different our experience would have been had we been visitors to the new, beautiful unit that rests five floors above the Saint Francis grounds. We certainly have no plans to be parents of patients in the new facility, but as strange as it sounds, I can't stop myself from being thrilled and optimistic for the families of the tiny patients that now inhabit the new EOPC. I can't ever say enough how impactful the staff at Saint Francis was and has been on our lives; the quality of the facility finally matches the quality of the staff. And, in an ideal world, no hospital would have need for a NICU, but if there are fragile and sick babies that come into this world, I can't think of a better place for them to be.

Escape Plan

I'm never sure of what is going through Madeline's head. What I wouldn't give to spend a few minutes in her thoughts. I'm sure it's fascinating. Lately, she's taken to asking one particular question over and over: "How are we going to get out of here?" The strangest thing is she isn't scared or concerned; there's no worry or anxiety behind the question. She just wants to know. When we went to Disney on Ice during the fair, the first thing she asked was, "Mommy, how are we all going to get out of here?" She didn't comment on the ice, the balloons and cotton candy. She didn't admire the enormous banner painted with the faces of Disney characters she loves and adores. Instead, she wanted to know our escape plan. The only thing I can figure is that they have recently talked about firemen in school. Maybe the talk of firemen led to a discussion of getting out of the house in case of fire? We were always taught in school that every family should have an escape plan in place in case of a house fire. And if Maddie does anything, she pays attention. It may not seem like she is, but I am telling you now, that girl hears everything! Every time she asks, I try and give her a calm and logical answer. So far, that seems to be good enough for her.

The Secret

Every night, when we put the girls to bed, I ask them if they want to hear a secret. Without fail, of course, they say, "Yes!" So, I lean down and whisper in their ear, "Did you know you're my favoritest Madde/Cadie in the whole world?" They always smile. Yesterday, after I had been gone most of the day for photo shoots, Maddie came up to me and said, "Mommy, do you wanna know a secret?" I replied, "Of course!" Then, she leaned in and whispered in my ear, "You're the greatest Mommy in the whole world." I looked at her sweet face, said "thank you", and tried my darnedest not to cry.

Whole Again

Today marks the beginning of the first week Jeff will be home EVERY night in six months. Last Spring, he and his business partner started a massive job on a house at Lake Tenkiller. I can't complain because this job has been a HUGE blessing to our family, but I've been ready for it to be over for a couple of months now. Since the start of this job, I've essentially been a single mom during the week, though I've had loads of help from family and friends. It's not even the added responsibility, though, that's had me ready for this job to end. It's simple: I miss my husband. And even more, the girls miss their daddy. The first couple of months they noticed, of course, that he was gone, but didn't really seem to understand the timing of his absence. As they've gotten older, though, and gained a better grasp of time, they've become very aware of him being away. My heart has broken every time Maddie has asked or cried for her daddy because she needs to give him a hug. Every time I've had to rock and cuddle a sobbing Cadie because she misses him so much, my heart has ached. I've missed him, too, probably more than I've realized. Although I've adjusted to taking care of the girls on my own, I've just recently understood how much Jeff's being gone has affected my overall attitude. The past six months I've operated at a level which has left me always feeling just a little sad. On the weekends, I've gotten to see a glimpse of my old self, bubbly, silly, and overall happy. Throughout our twelve year relationship, I guess I never fully understood how much being with Jeff makes me, me.

Last week, I started explaining to the girls that their daddy would once again be home every night very soon. They looked at me, wide-eyed and Maddie said, "You mean we'll get to see him every night?" It broke my heart and made me smile at the same time. Now that Jeff's home, I know we're finally whole again.

Star Student

This past week at school, Cadie was the "Star Student" for her class. When I picked them up earlier this week, she proudly showed me her certificate stating her "start status". Maddie looked up at me, tears in her eyes and sadness in her voice, and asked where her certificate was. I sighed, knowing this would be something we'd be facing quite frequently in the future. I explained to her that Cadie had won the award this month, but if she continued to be a good girl and a good student in class, she would be sure to win the award sometime in the future. After a couple more whines and a few tears, she accepted my explanation and moved on to wanting to know where her customary cup of root beer and chocolate chip cookie were.

Thank goodness for short attention spans!

Sleep, Interrupted

I always thought the age of three would be a safe bet for no longer being woken up in the middle of the night. That was something we dealt with when we had newborns, then when the girls were adjusting to their room and sleeping in big girl beds. Age three is supposed to be a safe distance from interrupted sleep, except for the occasional nightmare or thunderstorm. Apparently, Cadie didn't get the memo.

Because Jeff's been working out of town for the past six months, I'm on my own during the week. This means, nearly every night when Cadie wakes up two or three times, it's up to me to get her back to sleep. I don't know if I would be less annoyed by it if she was waking up because of a bad dream or because she was scared; probably so. Lately, though, she's been waking up for no apparent reason. When she calls for me, she isn't frightened, upset, in a panic. She's just sitting in her bed, sometimes needing me to retrieve her doll or Bebe. It usually doesn't take much to get her back to sleep, either, but I'm up enough times to feel the effects the next day. There's something so un-restful about sleep interrupted. If she weren't so darn cute...

Oh, please, let this be a short phase!